A Funny Lady: Grocery Store Striptease, A Cool Head

There was a very funny lady who attended our church. She had a great sense of humor and loved to tell funny stories about her silly misadventures. When I wrote two poems about those mishaps, she took great delight in reading them.

The first poem was about what happened with her success on a diabetic diet, and the second one was when she cleaned an open-on-the top freezer. Dick was her husband’s name. She called the first mishap a grocery store striptease, so that is where the poem got its name.

Grocery Store Striptease

One day, while in the grocery store
Mary Ella spied the floor.
Her slacks (around her waist before)
she now on her feet and ankles wore.

“I’d better cover my body more,
or they will throw me out the door.”

She didn’t know that changing her diet
would cause the fear of starting a riot.
“Surely the manager I would not please
with my grocery store striptease!”

Always carry a safety pin.
It could keep you out
of the trouble you’re in.

Sheryl Kay Oder

A Cool Head

Cleaning the freezer
Mary Ella one day
there lost her balance,
having one thing to say:

“Dick, please come help me.
In the freezer I fell.
I may be dizzy,
but I cleaned it quite well.”

To have a cool head
keep your feet on the ground—
not half upside down
in a freezer be found.

Sheryl Kay Oder

3 thoughts on “A Funny Lady: Grocery Store Striptease, A Cool Head

  1. Linda B, can’t you just picture Mary Ella doing these things? She even had a funny story about laying on a cold table in the hospital while being checked for her breast cancer. Only Ella would make that into a funny story. I have forgotten the details but I remember her delight in telling it.

    It was Mother who suggested I write the poem which became A Cool Head. She also suggested I write a poem about the time she cooked her first turkey and kept the rubber band on it. Frankly, I could not bring myself to write about something I thought she should have figured out.

    Linda H, I’m glad Ella was able to make you smile even indirectly through this poem. She used to embarrass one of her daughters each time she told these stories, but the rest of us loved to listen to her laugh at herself.

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